Childhood friends hold a special place in our hearts. They are who we once sought out to climb trees, pass notes, ride bikes, roller skate and trade baseball cards. They are the ones who knew (and put up with) us through puberty, acne, and sneaking out back to try that first cigarette. They likely watched us experience our first crush, car date, school dance, and drama of that first break-up. They cheered with us at ball games and pep rallies. They showed us what it was like to laugh so hard that we cry. Together, we experienced that fleeting, carefree part of life.
After graduation those friends and classmates would scatter. Jobs, marriages, or a sense of adventure would take everyone to different locations around the country, or even the world. Facebook keeps us connected enough to follow what is going on in each other’s lives, but even the best-intentioned friends grow apart to some extent. For most, only a handful of our very closest friends stay in touch in a real way. Those friends don’t just text, they call to hear the tone of your voice when you talk, so they can make sure you are really okay. They make surprise visits, and you watch each other’s families grow up. They celebrate with you during times of triumph and help during times of need. When things get really bad and everyone else taps the ‘care’ emoji or ‘sends positive vibes,’ they are the ones who show up at your door with a meal in hand and then help with the tough stuff. They see your ugly. Your crazy. Your dirty floors. Your mistakes. And they love you anyway.
Sometimes we find those close friends as adults. A few are childhood friends that remained close and carried over into adulthood. Those friends are rare, because you have experienced most all of life together. They truly are a genuine gift to be treasured and not taken for granted.
Several weeks ago, I had the privilege of getting together with a group of such friends. I wish I could say it was for a joyous occasion, but it was to say goodbye to one of our own. We met our friend Brian in the fourth grade and remained close for the 40 years that followed. You don’t have to know him to be able to relate to the human experience of getting that late night phone call when everything afterward blurs.
As Julie, my bestie since kindergarten, got into the car with me to make the trip Michigan for the service, it seemed like we were driving up for a reunion, not a funeral. I was still in denial as we walked into the church. When a kind gentleman
handed us a card with our friend’s picture on the front, I felt sick. This was real. He was gone.
Yet, as we took our seats and watched pictures and videos scroll, and as our friend Jon stood up to speak, I couldn’t help but smile. A beautiful life was cut short, but it was so well lived! The human side of us had been mourning his death, but it was time to celebrate his life that was spent serving, teaching, and lifting others up. For the rest of the weekend, we laughed. A lot! So many great memories were shared.
But when it got quiet, I had time to reflect. Whether we want to admit it or not, the time will come when our friends and family will gather to say goodbye to us. What stories will they share? How will we be remembered? How will they say our life was lived? If it’s not what we want it to be, RIGHT NOW is the time we are given to make a difference.
Our friend knew we loved him, but it had been a while since I took time to pick up the phone to hear the tone of his voice, to make sure everything was really okay. Life was busy. But guess what? Life is always busy. We have to be purposeful about how we spend our time.
If you have had time to read this article or scroll through your Facebook page today, you have enough time to send a text to check in on that family member or friend.
Better yet, give them a call.
Go to the game.
Don’t miss that birthday party.
Keep them in your prayers.
Hug like you mean it.
Text something funny, just because.
Check in.
Send holiday greetings.
Invite them over.
Listen.
Remember important dates.
Make them laugh.
Let them know what they mean to you.
Make time.
Show up.
Forgive.
Don’t wait.
Have a blessed week, friends!
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