By Mark Carpenter-
We have no answers, and we might never have any answers.
I thought I had my whole Monday planned out and then I got news that literally jolted my heart and put me in tears. It’s hard to lose a friend, especially one like Shannon, whom I consider a good friend. Just like me, a whole community is looking for answers and wondering where we could have stepped in and helped, but we just didn’t know.
I first met Shannon when he was the head coach of the West Union girls basketball team, and instantly I was blown away with his exuberant personality, love for the game, and ability to make the best out of bad situations on the court. ow, I am just thinking over and over that I wish he could have handled adversity in life like he handled it on the basketball court. Coaching the West Union girls is not the easiest task in the world, but now we know that life was not an easy task for Shannon either.
All of us have demons that we must fight, we just sometimes have to put on the happy face and keep the darkness hidden. Sometimes, though, you just have to ask for help, you just have to rely on friends and people you hold close to be there and h just talk. I needed that on Monday afternoon and a friend listened and was just “there” and it helped, it helped a lot. I just keep wishing that Shannon would have done the same before he made a decision that has affected so many people.
Depression is an ugly thing, and something that almost all of us have dealt with at some point in our lives. I have, and it is a hard pit to drag yourself out of, but people need to know that there can be a brighter side, that the future is there for them, a happy future. Shannon had to know how many people thought the world of him, including me, but somehow in the deepest depths of his soul that love was lost in a fleeting moment, one that we all wish we could have prevented.
We all feel that suicide is a selfish act, but in now way am I ever going to blame Shannon. I wasn’t in his mind, I didn’t know what was going on, what he was fighting. But I will say that I would have never guessed in a million years that his would happen with a man I loved and respected and had so many smiles and laughs with, most of them in a gymnasium somewhere. I will certainly miss chasing Shannon down after a game to grab that picture of his very accurate stat sheet, it’s little things like that which will make that first North Adams girls game this winter a really tough evening. I’ll miss those times before a game just sitting there on the bench with Shannon, just shooting the breeze during warmups. But what I will miss pales in comparison to what a lot of others are going to miss.
The “what ifs” will be the hardest part for everyone in the coming weeks and months. What if I had said this? What if I had done this? What if I had seen or noticed something different? I really only saw Shannon in the basketball setting but I still have asked myself all those questions, thinking about all the times this summer when I was with Shannon and didn’t even begin to think there was anything that wrong going on.
Now we have to say goodbye to a good coach, a good friend, and a good man. I don’t want to do that at all, but death is part of life, even when it comes to us in such a mysterious and unanswered means. All I can do is encourage anyone who is fighting such horrible things to reach out for help, that’s what friends are for. I know I wasn’t his closest confidant, but I’ll always wish that Shannon had just talked to me.
It is no secret that the North Adams community is one big “family” and the girls basketball program emphasizes that each and every day. Now, a part of the family will be missing and it’s not going to be easy to deal with. Shannon, I hope you have your stat sheet with you and I hope the good Lord has you on the sidelines right now tallying those rebounds and turnovers. He couldn’t have found anyone better to do it.
