By Sherry Larson
“Be kind,” those are the words I wrote on the corner of every one of my daughter’s lunch napkins when she went to school all those years ago. Later in life, she had those same words tattooed on the front of her neck. I’m thrilled that the message resonated so profoundly, although I was not as thrilled to see it inked front and center on her body. Perspectival – there are much worse sentiments she could display. Being kind is paramount, and practicing kindness prevents bullying.
A bully is “someone who uses power or threats to hurt, scare, or control others.” Bullies tend to torment, intimidate, and harass their victims. Bullying can happen to anyone, but school is a hotspot for oppressing others.
As this school year starts, most parents are hoping for a safe, fun, and productive experience for their children. Success looks different for everyone – but most will wish for academic accolades, “popularity,” and a healthy involvement in extracurricular activities. Wanting a positive experience for your child is expected, and wanting the same for others is necessary.
According to stopbullying.gov, about 1 in 5 (19.2%) of U.S. students aged 12 to 18 experience bullying at school. Some bullying comes in the form of name-calling, spreading rumors, and general ugly comments, whether in person or electronically, while other times it is physical abuse.
Middle schoolers are the highest recipient group of bullying (26.3%) and high schoolers (15.7%). Female students are reported to have higher rates of bullying (21.8%) than male students (16.7%)
Bullying is no respecter of persons. Students from all walks of life can be targets. If you are a parent – think back – do you remember either being the one or knowing the ones who were purposefully left out of activities, called names, threatened, physically assaulted, teased, or the focus of the rumor mill? These are not pleasant memories.
Parents and teachers can help your children to be assertive and kind. Here are some suggestions from Children’s Hospital in Colorado and Stopbullying.gov:
• Make sure they know what bullying is and set clear expectations and policies;
• Give students anonymous ways to report when they see someone who presents bullying behavior;
• If you’re a teacher, watch for the hotspots like the cafeteria and hallways and limit device usage;
• Parents – talk to your children and model good behavior;
• Encourage your children to join groups and make friends;
• Guide children to right behavior.
Being kind is not just a pleasant and popular sentiment. Kindness is primary to the giver and receivers’ emotional well-being. Children navigate some tough stuff in and out of school; they shouldn’t feel browbeaten by peers. So, whether you write it on a lunch note, yell it from your car at drop-off, remind them in your daily discussions, or get it tattooed on your neck – let them know it’s important to “Be kind!”