For only about the third time in a year, I had all of my babies back under one roof. My older children came home from out of state, so Christmas Eve at our house was full of shenanigans, fun and laughter. For a few days, it felt like it used to be. We filled up a church bench together, told stories, played games, stayed up late, and spent time. My kids could not have given me a greater gift. My heart was so full! I know now that it was absolutely true when I was younger and older people than myself would say that gifts weren’t necessary. All they wanted was our time.
Without my noticing, I have become one of those ‘older people.’
After the holiday rush had passed and I had some time to breathe, I called a few of my single or elderly friends to check in and was sad to hear that some of them had spent the holiday completely alone. I had visited with them prior to Christmas, but I hadn’t invited them over on Christmas day. Why didn’t I do that? I felt horrible and sincerely apologized. One of them said it’s okay, because they are used to several days going by without talking to anyone. Christmas was just another day.
But it wasn’t. It was a special day, and they had spent it feeling like they were nothing special.
In an instant, I realized that one day, that person sitting alone could be me. It could be you. Maybe it is you now. When that time comes, how would we hope to be treated? I tried to imagine a silent house while everyone else was celebrating, and my heart hurt. Yes, I know that some people prefer it that way, but I also know that these friends of mine did not. They were lonely, and I had dropped the ball.
I’m not one for making resolutions, but I vowed to myself to do better. Not because it’s a new year, but because our seniors deserve better. Through my conversations with them, I found one common theme. They know there are people in their lives that care about them and would help if they asked, but they don’t want to inconvenience anyone, knowing people are already busy.
Nobody should feel like an inconvenience.
To avoid that, we can check in with them first, without them having to ask. Simple things would help them feel less isolated.
We can call and check in more often, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. Days should not pass without hearing another human voice.
We can ask if they would like to come along while we run errands. For the ones who can’t drive, it may be the only time they are able to get out of their house, and maybe the errands could benefit them as well.
If we are stopping for a visit, we can ask if we can bring them anything. How irritating it would be to be out of something simple, like milk, and not be able to go get it on your own.
We can offer to do chores around their house. Laundry, yardwork, anything.
Have leftovers from your big pot of soup? Bring them a few servings. It’s hard to cook for one person.
Remember their birthdays or other important dates. Those shouldn’t be ‘just another day,’ either.
Invite them to church, dinner, birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations.
We can send cards or notes to let them know we are thinking of them. It’s fun to get things in the mail that isn’t junk, and notes and letters can be read over and over.
Share puzzles, books, movies, or other things that will help them pass the time.
Listen to their stories.
Give hugs and ‘I love you’s’ if it fits. You might be the only one to offer it.
Surprise them with hand-picked flowers.
Offer to take them to appointments, then maybe for an ice cream or something fun.
Simply spend time. Everyone deserves to feel like they are someone’s priority.
Have a blessed week, friends!
Denae Jones is a teacher and author of “Love, Joy, Peace”. She is also the co-author of “Everyday Grace for Mothers”, and “Everyday Grace for Teens”. Her new novel “But, Even Now”, written with Jennifer Thomas, is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Woodsong Publishing, and other places books are sold.
