I was making casual conversation with a lady behind the checkout counter the other day, and something came up about me being a teacher. I was surprised when she thanked me for my service. She said maybe those weren’t the right words, but it seemed to fit because teachers do serve the public. She said teachers do so much to take care of other people’s kids and she wanted me to know that it does not go unnoticed.
Having felt incredibly defeated at different times throughout the year, her words brought tears to my eyes as I thought about how true they were. Many of my close friends are also teachers, in all different grades, subjects and states. I keep hearing one common theme when we talk about how things are going at our respective schools, and it’s that teaching is so much more intense than it used to be.
On top of having tons of pressure to make those high scores on state tests, schools across our country are increasingly seeing students come in who have not eaten a meal since the last time they were at school. Many of them have drug addicted or abusive home environments, so many times they also haven’t slept or bathed. Kids come in with lice, bedbugs, and bruises, but usually not with their homework or school supplies.
Many students have no restrictions on screen time, so they are watching and listening to all sorts of inappropriateness into the wee hours of the morning, and then sleep through class. Not surprisingly, cyber-bullying and social comparison is sky-rocketing and wreaking havoc on self-worth in epic proportions. Due to all of the above, (and according to many post-Covid statistics) there is a staggering percentage of school-aged students with very real mental health issues.
When the bell rings and the class fills up, teachers don’t just see a room full of kids. They often see broken hearts disguised as misbehavior and acting out. College classes show teachers how to break down content to teach math and reading skills in multiple ways so that something will ‘click’ and help every student understand. However, nobody shows you how to teach kids how to read over Google Meet during a global pandemic. Nobody prepares you for what to do when another student shows up, clinging to you and sobbing because of what happened to them the night before. Or, like a teacher friend in Clermont County recently faced, how to explain to the class why the seat next to them is now empty because their classmate was allegedly murdered by his own mother. What do you do with that? How do you explain the unexplainable? How do you teach during the unthinkable?
Sometimes as a teacher, a referral or report has to be made, but then you carry on with your plans as best you can because for that student, it’s a good distraction. But on other days, they don’t care about learning content. They are just trying to survive. They just need to be shown some love in the middle of their hurt. Perhaps the most important lesson for times like that is a lesson in compassion.
I will never forget the love shown by my daughter’s teachers after our family endured a double suicide last year. They left her little notes, gave extra hugs, went to the funeral, and got her special gifts in remembrance. She will never, ever, forget their kindness, and I will always be so grateful knowing that my baby’s heart was truly looked after when tears would soak her schoolbooks and I wasn’t there with her.
There are some days when listening to someone’s story is more important than listening to that history video. Sometimes putting the lesson plans aside to do a whole-class act of kindness is worth more than that math lesson on money. Time is never wasted if you are letting someone know that they are seen, important, and loved.
Creating a safe and welcoming classroom environment isn’t always easy, but it’s absolutely necessary. One friend started handing out ‘compliment cards’ to her class. Every day, each student gets a paper with a random name of another student. They write down something kind about that person, then give it back to the teacher. After everyone leaves for the day, she places each student’s note on their desk. The next morning, they are able to start the day knowing someone noticed them and saw something positive about them. As a bonus, they have stacks of positive notes from classmates to keep and read over when they need it most.
Our bulletin board is divided into two sections, where students can post notes about how someone did an act of kindness for them, or they did an act of kindness for someone else. I love to see them encouraging one another and building each other up. Sometimes, on bad days, I will see them reading through the notes and it warms my heart.
Instead of a gift exchange last Christmas, everyone in my class got a blank piece of paper and they were asked to put their name on top and pass it to their left. They passed it every thirty seconds, and when they were handed a new paper, they would write a positive message to the student who wrote their name on top. When
it got back to the original person, they had a list of 28 wonderful things to read about themselves. A gift, indeed. One student said she hung hers on her bedroom wall, to read when she felt depressed.
Sometimes we write positive notes on post-its and put them on random lockers, or make sure nobody is sitting alone at lunch. We try to be ‘noticers,’ and scan faces to see who needs a smile, a simple ‘hello,’ or a pat on the back.
People of all ages need to be seen, heard, and to know they are important to someone. Be that person who reaches out. Give compliments freely. You never know what someone else is going through and how your words can turn their whole day around.
Have a blessed week, friends!
And, to teachers everywhere… thank you.
Denae Jones is a teacher and author of “Love, Joy, Peace”. She is also the co-author of “Everyday Grace for Mothers”, and “Everyday Grace for Teens”. Her new novel “But, Even Now”, written with Jennifer Thomas, is available on Barnes and Noble and Woodsong Publishing.