Tom was 68 years old when he was admitted to Hospice with Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS). He was bedbound and required total care. Tom was a big man, the thickness of his hands and fingers testified of a man accustomed to hard manual labor. His contagious grin, twinkle in his eye and stealthy wit revealed an intelligent man with a sense of humor.
According to Tom’s wife, Faye, Tom was a modern-day renaissance man. Faye, recounted, “He always said he wanted to try everything.” They moved twenty-five times during their fifty years of marriage. Tom had been a master mechanic, he owned and operated tractor trailer rigs, he was a minister and pastor, he was a motorcyclist, a competitive tennis player, and Faye stated, “He could have been a professional bowler.” She added, “We’ve lived in the best of houses and worn the best of clothes, but we worked hard. While we were in Wisconsin, I worked three jobs at the same time. I was a home health aide, sold real estate and was the church secretary.”
Tom and Faye’s lives are much different now. Tom’s chronic illness has depleted their financial reserves. Now they barely survive from month to month. They have no transportation because they can’t afford to repair their van and their home is in disrepair. Faye recounted that for a few years their living room ceiling leaked during heavy rains, “We placed buckets all around the room and imagined we were being serenaded by the rain hitting the buckets. We still have a sense of humor. And we are more thankful now than ever. We are happier here than anywhere.”
Being amazed by Tom’s pleasant demeanor and thankfulness in the midst of such disruption, I asked what helped him cope. Tom replied, “Staying humble. I used to think I was doing things for God, but now I realize that I did them for myself. I got ahead of God. I thought I was ten feet tall and bullet proof and that I could move mountains. But God showed me that I’m only about a half inch tall and that I can only flick rocks. I used to lead people but God told me I would be led by others. I’d always done the talking but now I’m listening.”
We launched into an exploration of the meaning of humility. We talked about the Biblical mandates to “humble yourself,” (James 4:10). Tom proclaimed, “Either God will humble you or you can humble yourself. But if you humble yourself there is always a reward.” He added, “To be humble, we have to see who we are and who God is.”
Charles Finney (1792- 1875), the leader of the Second Great Awakening in the United States, defined humility as “A willingness to be known and appreciated according to our real character…to confess, and to take our place in the scale of being.” The Apostle Paul put it this way: “Don’t think of yourselves more highly than you ought to think, but think soberly (accurately) as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith,” (Romans 12:1-8).
Every coin has two sides and the flip side of humility is pride. In the Book of James, we are taught that, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble,” (James 4:6). Pastor and author, C.J. Mahaney writes, “Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him.” He suggests, “Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness”, and that, “Nothing in history or in the universe cuts us down to size like the cross…it’s at the foot of the cross that we shrink down to our true size “, for, “How can anyone be arrogant when he stands beside the cross,” (Humility: True Greatness, 2005)?
MaHaney defines humility as, “Serving others for the glory of God”. I’ve come to realize that love is the willingness, and the only power great enough, to persuade us to lay down our lives for our friends (John 15:13), to be willing to live our lives in such a way that the lives of others are better off even if they never know that it was us who God worked through to manifest his name. And, “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren,” (1 John 3:16).
Seeing how He died for us, it’s not big of us to live for Him.
“…Go to church because your momma says to, visit grandpa every chance that you can, it won’t be wasted time, always stay humble and kind. Hold the door say please and thank you, don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie, I know you got mountains to climb, but always stay humble and kind. When the dreams you’re dreaming come to you, when the work you put in is realized, let yourself feel the pride, but always stay humble and kind. Don’t expect a free ride from no one, don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why, bitterness keeps you from flying, always stay humble and kind… Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you, when you get where you’re going, don’t forget turn back around, help the next one in line, always stay humble and kind,” (“Always Stay Humble and Kind”, by Tim McGraw, YouTube).
Loren Hardin is a social worker with SOMC-Hospice and can be reached at (740) 357-6091 or at lorenhardin53@gmail.com. You can order Loren’s book, “Straight Paths: Insights for living from those who have finished the course”, at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.