By Rick Houser-
I feel it is pretty safe to say you all know I love to talk. In all of the years I have been around, I have seen how and where we converse and I will tell you that it has changed so very much over time. To converse used to be almost an art form as folks worked on their delivery, approach, response, and summary. I can’t say for sure but I think that way of conversing isn’t around much these days.
From my earliest accounts, I recall that neighbors would make a point to stop in and hold a conversation that might last a good while. (Somewhere between an hour or two just depending on how much there might be to talk about.) Or we might go to someone else’s place and do the same. It was the way of the times. I won’t say these visits began the exact same but I can say I have heard the following. That would be the person who had someone arrive at their house and they would say, “Welcome, sit a spell and tell me what’s on your mind”. With that said the table was set and all things were open for discussion.
There would be a little talk about the weather we were having and what they felt was still to come. Then each would tell how their day had gone and what they had been doing. This was for the visitor to tell first and the visited to reply. (That was the protocol you know.) Many topics could be covered and I know you will find this hard to believe but some gossip was told from both sides. It seemed these visits mostly came after the evening meal. Since we were out on Fruit Ridge Road, almost all of our visitors were other farmers.
Therefore, the day’s work was put in first and then supper. After everyonehad cleaned up, we were ready for company if there was to be any.
Since my Dad was a township trustee and for six terms, many folks stopped by to file a complaint about their road or a fence line or other problems they felt fell in his responsibility. Rarely did anyone leave angry and I think they wanted to just pick his brain to see just how this problem would be received if it went to the trustees. Most times once the problem had been discussed and resolved one way or another, the person would just sit back and visit and talk about whatever sounded interesting.
My Mom was a teacher and was active in both church events and the Eastern Star and all of that created a lot of ladies stopping by to talk over what they were into at that time. I must tell you that Mom’s visitors rarely needed the prompting to “come sit a spell”. A lot of the ladies would open the front door and as they were entering, knock on the door and holler for my Mom, to which she would yell, “Just come on in”. From there until they left, our house knew no silence and they all talked at the same time. What always amazed me was they all still knew what all the others had said. When they left, you could tell they had a good visit.
There was a man who lived about a half a mile up the road and he worked in a factory. His wife was one of the folks who I would go visit as I enjoyed her company. She woke up talking and went to bed talking and I kid you not, it was one sentence from sunrise to sunset and bedtime was the end of the sentence. A couple times a year her husband would have gotten weary of this and taken a walk to our place. He would ask Dad if he could see him and Dad would gladly welcome him over.
He really didn’t have much to say, he just liked the peace and quiet of our home, which with three children wasn’t all that quiet, but it was a change in what he had been hearing. I have seen him on a couple occasions just fall asleep for about an hour and then wake up and head for home. He always thanked us for the visit and walked out the door with a relaxed smile on his face. I asked my Dad just what was he there for and my Dad said he came to “sit a spell” and he did.
It seems that I recall this approach to communicating the way it was and it seemed we all had more time or made more time to get it done. Somewhere along the way, the world changed. Maybe in the 90’s. Today we only have to tap on our cordless cell phone’s keyboard and you have communicated. It really is amazing to say the least.
Today the world moves at a pace that is amazing and the technology is to be complimented. However, I feel there is much lost in translation when using this approach to socializing. It is for sure social distancing. When you text or email a friend you can’t and won’t see them, and I feel that is a loss to both sides. However, we just don’t have the time to stop and “sit a spell”. We have so much more to do and are so much busier these days.
When texting how do you know if the person on the other end is smiling. How do we know if they are angry? You cannot hear the tone in their voices nor see the inflections in their face. Communicating today’s way makes telling a lie so very easy. In addition, when your cell rings and the ID name comes up and you don’t really want to talk to them, all you have to do is let it go to voice mail and they will hear “I can’t come to the phone now so just leave a message.” Now that isn’t all that bad but it used to be you confronted them and it was over.
I understand there was more time before this technology and yes, we are much busier. I won’t lie to you all either I use my cell phone and text a lot. It might sound like I am a hypocrite but since the world can’t turn back the clock, I will stop and type a spell. To visit with friends is better than not having them at all.
Rick Houser grew up on a farm in Clermont County and loves to share stories about his youth and other topics. If you want to read more of his writing, he has two books for sale. Contact him at houser734@yahoo.com. Or just write to him at P.O. Box 213 Bethel, Ohio 45106.