Last updated: February 25. 2014 11:08PM - 335 Views

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How about that catchy headline? I have been storing that one in my mind since the Americans beat the Russians in ice hockey. That may have been the highlight of the Winter Olympics for me, just to see the disappointed face of Russian President Vladimir Putin. I guess a few Ukrainian officials’ heads on platters will soften that blow.

The 2014 Winter Olympics are history are history and I must admit that after my initial excitement over the games, I kind of lost interest in the final week. Perhaps it was my lack of time to even watch the games or just seeing the same things over and over again. Whatever it was, I really didn’t keep up as well as a so-called sports writer should.

I will say that I learned about some different sports during these Winter Olympics but I will add that I am not at all a fan of all these X-Games events in the Olympics. As I told someone, “They never had that junk when I was a kid.” I suppose if you have snow, you may as well throw up some obstacles, a few pipes, and ski over them. Personally, just give me the beauty of a ski jumper as they glide out in open air to their landing. Something very elegant about that.

I have no idea what the event was called but I caught some sort of speed skating event that looked a whole lot like the roller derby show I used to see on Saturday afternoons in my youth. I was hoping that Raquel Welch (movie reference there) would skate right out and start throwing out skaters one by one, linking arms with the Americans and parading across the finish line. I know-big dreams!

While dining at a Buffalo Wild Wings a couple of weeks ago, I was introduced to the sport of curling, which I quickly deduced to be a mix of 80-year olds playing shuffleboard on a cruise ship and 10-year olds playing marbles in the back yard. The fellow I was sitting with actually asked the waiter to change the TV from basketball to curling. Now there’s something that happens only once very four years. Kind of like a presidential election-thank goodness it is only every four years!

Figure skating dominated the television at my house as my wife I guess could be coined an avid fan. I probably watched more than usual, mainly because by the time I got home late at night, I was too tired to argue for a dose of Andy Griffith reruns instead. I did like that Davis-White American duo. They were graceful and skated nearly perfectly for all I know about figure skating and of course any time you beat the Russians it is good. Just ask Rocky Balboa. Did you notice how many times Rocky IV was on at the same time as the Olympics? Coincidence? I think not.

Remember when you were a kid and you lost at something and you told the other kid, “I let you win.” I believe that is what we did in allowing the Russians to win the final medal count. I assume that if we hadn’t, our athletes may have been tossed in some gulag somewhere surrounded by snow and ice. But Norway, the Netherlands, and Switzerland combined to win 61 medals-good for them! Can you name an athlete from any those countries? Me neither.

What will we all do now that there are no Olympics on? Well, I will be in Mayberry, don’t know about the rest of you. Well, that’s not totally true. I will mostly be in front of this computer screen continuing to churn out two papers every week, but when I sneak away, Mayberry it will be for me. If you happen to drop by the office today about 2:45 or so, I won’t be in Mayberry. I will be in Goodyear, Arizona. If I have to tell you why, just head on back up to the A section.

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