William L Ivarson Jr Senior Profile: Braydan Gaffin Senior Profile: Ethan Pennywitt Senior Center spreading Christmas cheer Stout named Administrator of Monarch Meadows Richard Francis Frank B Young William Scaff Gregory A Silvia Jr Davis now the winningest coach in Lady Devils basketball history Clutch plays give Green Devils OT win Eighth grade Greyhounds go on the road, grab 55-41 conference win at Whiteoak Lady Indians can’t hang on, fall to Eastern Brown Indians open up with big Homecoming win Greyhounds drilled by Fairfield in season opener How to sell 94 losses NAES leads local schools represented at PBIS Showcase PHS Beta Club recognized as National School of Distinction MES wins Momentum Award for second year running Fire destroys Winchester business Martha Becraft Cynthia A Sopher Clarys Holliday Basketball Special: 2017-18 Justice girls lead Peebles to win over Felicity Senior Profile: Adison Wright Lady Dragons slain by buzzer-beater Freshmen double-doubles lead Lady Hounds to win in opener County mourns passing of OVSD Board member Tom Reed Peebles man arrested in connection with woman’s disappearance Leaving a written legacy Not really ready to go back to pioneer days Peebles Jr./Sr. High School awarded PBIS Bronze Award North Adams High School named National Beta School of Distinction Operation Christmas Child collects 1,867 boxes Samantha Jameson honored as Young Professional of the Year Youth Deer Season again plagued by bad weather Humane Society hosting Ugly Christmas Sweater contest Dec. 9 Local centenarian celebrates birthday number 100 with family and friends Jerry R Pratt Edward Lykins Jr NAES students focus on spreading kindness Leland P Sautter Kelly B Anderson Dorothy Grooms Sharon D Brumley Anna J Grooms Local student/athletes awarded Wendy’s Heisman Awards Lady Devils JV triumph in opener Senior Profile: Colten Ball Peebles hosts SHAC Boys Preview Lady Devils fall in tough opener Janet A Pedicord Nettie R Fleshman Senior Profile: Sianna Mills North Adams boys ride the ‘3’ train to victory Lady Devils trounce Georgetown Senior Profile: Austin Stamper North Adams’ Williams named OIAAA Administrator of the Year County hoops squads on display in SHAC Girls Preview Going off the grid Michael L Chamblin A newer, kinder county pound takes a more humane approach TAG students are winners at Invention Convention Adams County Florist decks the halls Thomas J Reed Shirley A Stiffler Sharon G Wright Lottie J Meade June R Williams Lions and Cowboys and no Bengals, thankfully Senior Profile: Tyler Horsley North Adams sweeps Manchester Cheer Championships Indians face tough test in first pre-season scrimmage Senior Profile: Abby Faulkner Seas reflects on second state tournament experience NA’s Harper signs to continue hoops career at Rio Grande Hendrickson named Assistant Coach of the Year in Division III girls soccer Take the hint, it’s Thanksgiving time again Small Business Saturday in Adams County Art Council’s newest production will have you ‘laughing through your tears’ North Adams students working to help the homeless Grateful Richard A Graham #SawyerStrong Billy L Smalley With some help from Adams County, Ohio Statehouse now has wheelchair charging station Wenstrup announces re-election campaign Delta Dental provides two local schools with new drinking fountains Ernie McFarland honored by Ohio Bankers League Veterans Day parade, ceremony held in West Union Adams County schools celebrate Veterans Day Being the change November: As Mr. Seas it Protecting Ohio seniors from rising healthcare costs It’s November-have some soup and pie SHAC Boys Preview is Nov. 24 at Peebles June Hall Alice B Himes Claudia U Mitchell

Love won’t allow it

Bruce was 65 years old when referred to Hospice for lung cancer. He and Peggy had been married for 45 years. Bruce was mild mannered, but Peggy was a fighter. Peggy recounted the day their doctor told them that Bruce’s cancer was terminal. “When the doctor told us his cancer was in his bone, I told the doctor, ‘You might think I’m weak, but I’m not as weak as you think I am. I’ll have my cry and then I’ll come back fighting and I’ll make him fight too.” He asked me how I could be so sure and I told him, ‘You just wait and see.’” Peggy continued, “I allowed Bruce two or three weeks for his pity party, then I told him, ‘Get dressed. You’re going out.’ Love has to be tough sometimes. Love won’t allow it.”

Peggy understood the difference between normal grief and resignation. You allow normal grief but you intervene when you suspect resignation. You might question Peggy’s timing and interventions, but I don’t think you can question her love and intentions. Peggy’s love for Bruce reminds me of a quote I heard years ago, “God loves us just the way we are, but he loves us too much to let us stay that way.”

I believe that many of us have misconceptions about the nature of love. Therefore, we sometimes don’t recognize real love when it shows up because sometimes it shows up with a stern determined expression and speaks frankly. It doesn’t even hesitate making us feel uncomfortable at times. And real love doesn’t passively stand by and watch someone continue on a self-destructive course, because love is dedicated to the highest good of another and its goal is always their personal and spiritual growth and welfare.

And love cares enough to speak the truth. But I’ve noticed that in the Bible, “truth” is typically combined with “mercy.” Wise King Solomon exhorted his son, “Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:3-4).

There’s a good reason why truth needs to be accompanied by mercy, because truth without mercy can crush and discourage a person, but on the other hand, mercy without truth can cripple and demoralize a person. Thankfully, the Apostle Paul gave us some excellent advice, that when followed, will safely guide us: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”(Ephesians 4:29)

People, as with love, also frequently have misconceptions about hospice. The general public sometimes thinks that we only talk about death and dying. Sure, its part of what we do, but not all we do. Our desire for our patients is “acceptance without resignation,” for them to live the best they can with the situations they are presented with. We believe that with each successive stage of life, and terminal illness, that we are presented with corresponding developmental questions and challenges.

But life’s questions sometimes show up disguised as sighs, “What else can I do! “ “What good am I?” “What’s the use?” “I don’t know why God has me here.” We believe that when we change our sighs into questions and seek the answers, we continue to live until the day we die.

“Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Loren Hardin is a social worker with Southern Ohio Medical Center – Hospice and can be reached by email at hardinl@somc.org or by phone at 740-356-2525.

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Straight Paths

Loren Hardin

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