Helen Kerr Anna L DeMint The garden that got us through the winter months Virginia L Fricker JV Devils top Northwest 51-34 Senior Profile: Caitlin Young North Adams moves to 7-5 with 16-point Homecoming win over Northwest Held to a higher standard Claudia J Purtee Shaylee E Prewitt Questions still linger in Stuart explosion Richard Holsinger J Ruth Madden Frank E Swayne Robert Bechdolt Sara D Hatfield Barbara Goodwin Jeffrey Frederick Grace E Myers Johnny A Sullender Sr. Senator Joe Uecker sworn-in for second term Wenstrup sworn in for third term in House Ronald L Chochard Patrick P Clift Samuel W Freeland Senior Profile: Casey Mullenix Lady Dragons win ugly, taking Classic consolation game over Manchester, 48-45 Greyhounds roll by West Union to take Classic consolation game, 82-58 History made as Ward takes oath of office Peter A Bennington Tangela R King McDonald’s Classic crowns 2016 champions MVP Arey leads Peebles to McDonald’s Classic title, Indians outlast North Adams 82-76 in double overtime thriller Lady Devils get Classic three-peat, make it 10 of 11, 14 titles for Coach Davis Senior Profile: Raegan Dick Teaching students the power of giving Kids at Children’s Home gifted with shopping spree Marion Liming Dorothy Huff John R Murphy Michael L McAninch Rita Rogers Edward L Combs Ronald W Staggs Mary H Grooms Gladys Wilson Donald Barnhill Monda Van Vorren Deborah Spires Senior Profile: Andre Wolke Indians pull away in second half, get past Manchester 71-58 in Classic semis On home floor, Lady Indians move to Classic title game North Adams handles West Union, Devils move to Classic finals with 68-53 victory Lady Devils roll into Classic championship Beth E Rowley Leatrice Lewis Senior Profile: Justin Aldridge Mary Helterbridle Wanda Huffman PES Performing Arts entertains at Hometown Christmas Adams County Manor sends holiday wishes Peebles Lions Club hosts Christmas breakfast Elusive Elf on a Shelf makes a return visit to PES Santas in blue spread Christmas cheer in a very special way Senior Profile: Aubrey McFarland WUHS holds Hall of Fame induction ceremonies WUHS Academic Team has undefeated season Serving those who served their country From Pearl Harbor to ‘America’s Got Talent’, 93-year-old WWII vet is still going strong Yester Years brings a touch of old to the new Merry Christmas to you all North Adams Elementary announces Spelling Bee winners Peebles High School hosts Homecoming ceremonies Children in need receive gifts at PES Adams County Manor holds annual Door Decorating Contest WUHS celebrates with numerous Christmas activities Halftime lead quickly vanishes, Dragons fall to Northwest 73-62 in Saturday night non-conference match up Tammy S Scott Oscar Hilterbrandt Neil R Swayne Beulah M Daniels McDonald’s Classic begins Dec. 27 Letters to Santa Senior Profile: Tyler Swearingen Leadership Adams donates to local outreach programs North Adams student/athletes are part of Holiday Sharing Event Senior Profile: Kylie Lucas West Union Elementary holds Academic Fair on Dec. 2 WUES holds annual Spelling Bee NAHS Art students help out the Humane Society Peebles Elementary announces Spelling Bee winners CTC FCCLA / Culinary Arts class holds Cancer Awareness Drive Amen receives Distinguished Service Award ‘Tis the season for family-past, present, and future MHS Computer Class aces MOS Exam WUES recognizes November Bus Riders of the Month NAHS Beta Club sponsors canned food drive Peebles Elementary announces November Students of the Month Crisis text line reaches out during the holidays Paul Wesley Ailshire

Love won’t allow it

Bruce was 65 years old when referred to Hospice for lung cancer. He and Peggy had been married for 45 years. Bruce was mild mannered, but Peggy was a fighter. Peggy recounted the day their doctor told them that Bruce’s cancer was terminal. “When the doctor told us his cancer was in his bone, I told the doctor, ‘You might think I’m weak, but I’m not as weak as you think I am. I’ll have my cry and then I’ll come back fighting and I’ll make him fight too.” He asked me how I could be so sure and I told him, ‘You just wait and see.’” Peggy continued, “I allowed Bruce two or three weeks for his pity party, then I told him, ‘Get dressed. You’re going out.’ Love has to be tough sometimes. Love won’t allow it.”

Peggy understood the difference between normal grief and resignation. You allow normal grief but you intervene when you suspect resignation. You might question Peggy’s timing and interventions, but I don’t think you can question her love and intentions. Peggy’s love for Bruce reminds me of a quote I heard years ago, “God loves us just the way we are, but he loves us too much to let us stay that way.”

I believe that many of us have misconceptions about the nature of love. Therefore, we sometimes don’t recognize real love when it shows up because sometimes it shows up with a stern determined expression and speaks frankly. It doesn’t even hesitate making us feel uncomfortable at times. And real love doesn’t passively stand by and watch someone continue on a self-destructive course, because love is dedicated to the highest good of another and its goal is always their personal and spiritual growth and welfare.

And love cares enough to speak the truth. But I’ve noticed that in the Bible, “truth” is typically combined with “mercy.” Wise King Solomon exhorted his son, “Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:3-4).

There’s a good reason why truth needs to be accompanied by mercy, because truth without mercy can crush and discourage a person, but on the other hand, mercy without truth can cripple and demoralize a person. Thankfully, the Apostle Paul gave us some excellent advice, that when followed, will safely guide us: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”(Ephesians 4:29)

People, as with love, also frequently have misconceptions about hospice. The general public sometimes thinks that we only talk about death and dying. Sure, its part of what we do, but not all we do. Our desire for our patients is “acceptance without resignation,” for them to live the best they can with the situations they are presented with. We believe that with each successive stage of life, and terminal illness, that we are presented with corresponding developmental questions and challenges.

But life’s questions sometimes show up disguised as sighs, “What else can I do! “ “What good am I?” “What’s the use?” “I don’t know why God has me here.” We believe that when we change our sighs into questions and seek the answers, we continue to live until the day we die.

“Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:5-6).

Loren Hardin is a social worker with Southern Ohio Medical Center – Hospice and can be reached by email at hardinl@somc.org or by phone at 740-356-2525.

http://www.peoplesdefender.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/web1_Loren-Hardin-1.jpg

Straight Paths

Loren Hardin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

2016 People's Defender