Manchester grad enjoys a “Super” Experience Taking Adams County patriotism to the state capitol John P Sininger Jo Ann Hayslip Harvey U Schrock Eunice G. Burgess Senior Profile: Kaulen St Michael Cox Racing returns to Brushcreek on April 2 Southern Hills Athletic Conference holds Winter Sports Awards ceremony Adams County provides multiple walking venues Adams County parks are tobacco-free Rhoads Memorial 5K Run/Walk is April 9 Peebles Elem. Staff of the Month Floyd E Maddy Raymond A Holt Derrick Poe Spencer E McFarland Mintie F Rogers Roberta Eylar Big Time Wrestling coming to NAHS Carl Tomlin CTC students help with storm clean-up Opening the door for high-tech jobs Jack R Slyger Thomas Stratton Jr Eastern Lady Warriors headed to Final Four Senior Profile: Logan Rogers Southern Hills Athletic Conference names 2016-17 All-Conference Basketball Teams Winchester PD continues assault on drugs Alonso joins Defender staff Sheriff to set up outpost in Manchester Johnson named OEDA Membership Chairperson Sherman E Young Ruth Jackman ‘Kitten Season’ comes to Ohio Manchester Council votes to disband PD Olde Wayside Inn under new management Two overdose on heroin Senior Profile: Ethan Parrett Adams/Brown Youth League holds postseason tourney Three nights of pain Furious rally falls short, Lady Devils again eliminated in Div. III district finals, 45-42 Oscar Moore Barbara J Finnegan Ohio Senate and House honor Miss Ohio USA Michael Eldridge Frances Towner Thelma R Williamson BREAKING NEWS: Manchester council votes to eliminate police department Before all dogs go to heaven Adaptive Bikes delivered in Adams County Adams County Junior Fair Market Hog Identification plans announced for 2017 Local couple takes ownership of two local businesses Jo Hanson to retire after nearly 50 years in banking Sierra Club, hero or villain? Greyhounds, Devils are runners-up in SHAC Tournaments Harold L Purdin Senior Profile: Jacob Wickerham 98-year old author publishes first book Early March storm packs destructive punch Jeeps rally in second half to end the Peebles season How about some post season awards? Thanks for all the great sports coverage PHS Principal hopes to expand students’ world view When spring becomes a promise Greg Lorenz Clay shoots the lights out, shoots down Greyhounds’ season Senior Profile: Savannah McFarland Devils put up a good fight, but fall to Portsmouth in sectional final, 50-43 Second half comeback sends Lady Devils to district finals for third straight year Butts honored by Southeast District Athletic Board North Adams Elementary holds Random Acts of Kindness Week Chester W Eyre BREAKING NEWS: March makes its entrance with force WUES kicks off Right to Read Week with guest readers WUHS students see Aronoff show on the life of Edgar Allan Poe Local high school seniors winners of Wendy’s Heisman Awards The emotions of a senior year Market Hog Clinic scheduled for March 4 Venture Hawks fall to Scioto County Senior Profile : Colton Thornburg Lady Dragons’ season ends with sectional loss to Lynchburg Devils advance in tourney with convincing win over West Union, will face Portsmouth for sectional title Wenstrup selected as Vice Chairman of House Armed Services Military Personnel Subcommittee Adams County 4-H Shooting Sports to hold fund raiser Linda M Howland Nellie B Hayslip Russell E Bailey Gladys M Perdue Commissioners meet in Columbus with DP&L CEO Tom Raga Missing the Dirtrollers The farms that aren’t forgotten Flora Hilderbran Commissioners to meet with DP&L officials New state graduation requirements called a ‘train wreck’ Catching up with Keller Senior Profile: Justin Knechtly Piketon size is too much for Lady Indians, Peebles falls in sectional finals Greyhounds grab Senior Night win Indians finish regular season riding six-game winning streak

Another love lost due to foolish pride

Maxine, “Max”, was referred to Hospice for end stage renal disease at the age of 77. Max was an attractive lady, about five feet tall with short silver-grey hair. She wore large framed blue tinted glasses which, in my mind, made her look like a little hoot owl. When I asked Max for permission to write and publish her story, I explained that I usually start out by describing a person in a way that the readers can visualize and identify with. Max, appearing concerned, requested “Just be nice to me.” With a smile I told Max, “But I do have to be honest.” Then Max exclaimed, “Well, I’m done for then. But at least be gentle.” I hope this story is nice and gentle.

Max lived alone in her own home with support from her family and a hired caregiver. She’d been in nursing homes, but she always worked her way back home. Max was a fighter. I complimented Max during one of my visits. “Max, you don’t act very old”, and she replied, “I don’t feel old inside. On a good day I feel 16 inside. But you should see me on a bad day. Then I feel every year.” I told Max that I still see myself as being in my early thirties and then with a wide grin she responded, “I bet that when you look in the mirror it sure is a big disappointment then isn’t it?”

One day I discovered that Max was “a little sneaky.” Sue, Max’s hospice aid, noticed that Max wasn’t taking the full dose of her prescribed medication. Max told Sue that her family wasn’t giving it to her. So I paid Max a visit that afternoon to investigate. I pointed out to Max that she had possession of her medications and that she could take them whenever she wanted. Being cornered she confessed, “Well, I really don’t like to take very much medication.” I responded, “Oh, I see. I fear I’ve underestimated your sneakiness.” She grinned and asked, “Do you really think I’m sneaky? I’m not sneaky!”

During another one of my visits Max confided, “My daughter and I aren’t talking to each other.” Her daughter from Louisiana had come to stay with her for awhile, but decided to cut her visit short after they’d gotten into a heated argument. Her daughter was staying with her brother until she could book a flight back home. I asked Max, “Seeing that it might be the last time you see each other, do you really want to part on those terms?” Max replied, “It’s not my fault and besides, what can I do about it now?” Considering that was a question that deserved an answer, we talked about it.

I told Max that their situation reminded me of the lyrics of the country music video by Travis Tritt, titled, “Foolish Pride.” I paraphrased the lyrics for Max but I’m quoting them for you- “She thinks that if she calls him it just shows weakness. So the hurt goes on with every tear she cries. Isn’t it sad to see a good love fall to pieces; chalk another heartbreak up to foolish pride, and while the bridges burn another hard hard lesson’s learned, chalk up another love lost due to foolish pride.”

Max and I talked about how in relationships there’s no such thing as a winner and a loser, either you both win or you both lose. We talked about how we can win an argument but lose a relationship. We talked about how all offenses don’t have to be settled, that they can simply be forgiven. We talked about how “love covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8). We talked about how sometimes all it takes is for someone to make the first move. When I left that day I challenged Max to make the first move.

The next day, to my surprise, I received a call from Max’s daughter telling me that she and Max had made amends and how thankful and relieved she was to be returning to Louisiana with their relationship restored. And it just so happened that they’d both made the first move. While Max was leaving a voice mail message on her son’s telephone, asking her daughter to come over, her daughter was already on the way.

Is “foolish pride” standing between you and someone you care about? If so, I encourage you to swallow your foolish pride and make the first move.

“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother.” (Matthew 5:23 – 24)

Loren Hardin is a social worker with Southern Ohio Medical Center – Hospice and can be reached at hardinl@somc.org or 740-356-2525.

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Straight Paths

Loren Hardin

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2016 People's Defender